I have been an American Horror Story fan since Season 1, with the “House”, here we are 2 seasons later and Ryan Murphy has brought American Horror Story: Coven.
These 3 powerhouses above? Angela Basset, Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates, these ladies are the SH*T!!! So much power, so much talent, that every episode leaves you wanting more. Tonight’s episode. “Head” Whoo. I am just coming down from this high, actually, no I’m still mid level high.
Last week’s episode left us with Kathy Bates character, Madame LaLaurie, with her *SPOILERS AHEAD* head in a box.
I actually like Justin Timberlake’s D**K in a box, but I digress.
If you haven’t caught up with this episode by now, then I gotta tell you to do NOT pass go or scroll on down. *SPOILERS BELOW* Seriously, I’m about to post spoilers and I don’t want to read any complaints on this post.
LemmeTellYa how this episode had me tweeting OHHHHHHHH SH**************TTTTTTTT!!!!! Yeah seriously. Expletives everywhere! Cordelia’s hubby, Hank, we found out that he’s a witch hunter. Say whaaaatttttttt. Yep. Remember when her husband was screwing a redhead then blew her brains out? Red was a witch. This episode “Head” showed in the beginning how as a child, his father was teaching him how to kill a witch. Little Hank couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger, so dear old dad, got burned on his hand and shot the witch right in the head. His pops is now the head of the witch hunters club. As a child, his father was disappointed in Hank and even til this day, he was disappointed.
So, Cordelia is “blind as a butter knife” Myrtle said this, but what in the hell does that mean? Eh, whatevs. While we’re catching up on the family reunion with Hank, it was revealed that the Hunters Elk Club approved the acid throwing incident on Cordelia. Damn. Her father-in-law hates her, big time, huh?
Myrtle bestowed upon Cordelia the gift of sight, which, ewwwww by the way. She took out a melon spoon and scooped out the eyes of the Council and plugged them into Cordelia sockets. With her pretty 2 different eyeballs, Cordelia lost the gift of seeing. Myrtle chopped up the Council, another pretty gross scene.
Fiona goes to Voodoo Queen, Marie Laveau, to talk to her about the witch hunters in the area. Little does Fiona know, Marie hired Hank. (hope you’re keeping up) Fiona brings back the head in the box to Marie Laveau, she instructs Queenie to burn it. Queenie doesn’t, she shows LaLaurie or Delphine a Roots marathon lmaooooo the whole interaction was hilarious. Delphine let’s Queenie know that she didn’t watch a damn thing and kept her eyes shut, Queenie “figured” she would because she’s kept her eyes shut for so long (Racism), so she decided to put on a song, forcing LaLaurie/Delphine to listen to the spiritual (and civil rights anthem) “Oh Freedom” which ironically cuts to black people being killed in the salon, by Hank.
Hank, pissed off because he has daddy issues, goes to Marie Laveau’s salon and blows everyone away. Queenie got shot in her gut. I would feel sorry, but she’s a traitor soooo OH WELL! When Hank finally reaches Marie Laveau, he shoots her, clips her arm (which by the way, you shot everyone and their mom in the gut, but you somehow miss and clip her arm. GTFOH) and slithering on the floor is Precious Queenie, who has a gun and gets as close as she can to Hank and before he can blow away Marie, Queenie puts the gun in her mouth and blows her head off which in turn blows Hank’s head off. Is Queenie dead? Not sure, I’m pretty sure she survived…after all she is the living voodoo doll.
The episode ends with Marie Laveau knocking on the Coven’s door and Fiona letting her in.
That was heavy just reading it, right? Did you say OHHHHHH SHHHHH****TTTTTT when you read it? I bet you did. Now those parts of the episode really stuck out to me and I just *HAD* to get that off of my fingertips. The episode didn’t just center about the above, albeit it was the best part of the show, BUT, we found some other interesting tidbits.
Last week’s episode, we saw how Luke’s mother, Joan, told Luke needed to clean his insides and then she make a cleaning concoction water and a cleanser (comet, ammonia, bleach, fantastik?) and made Luke give himself an enema.
Well, we all knew that the Bible thumping broad was crazy, BUT we didn’t know HOW crazy she was…mannnn listen. Ok, so this week’s “Head” episode shows Nan, Madison and Zoe going to the hospital to see Luke, who was shot by Hank who’s a horrible witch hunter.
Anywho, the 3 amigas walk in, Joan tries to instantly kick them out. Nan does her Whoopi Goldberg, “Ghost” impression and tells Mommy Dearest some things that made her believe that Luke was still in there, listening. She let’s Nan in and next thing you know, Luke/Nan is delivering a message from GOD and it was revealed that Joan, killed her husband because she saw hubby getting head from a chick in Joan’s book club. Anger and revenge set in and she put bees in his car, knowing he’s allergic and he gets stung to death. Luke/Nan tells Joan that God is judging her for it and Joan goes all defensive, liar, blah blah blah. Nan leaves poor Luke alone and leaves the hospital. Luke somehow comes out of his coma (Nan’s powers?) and he’s all sobbing, you killed dad because he cheated on you. Mommy Dearest says oh it’s not true….go back to sleep Luke and Joan took a damn pillow and smothered Luke. This broad is CERTIFIABLE!!! We don’t know if he’s truly dead, but it left the impression. Seriously tho, who stays dead on American Horror Story: Coven?
New episodes start back January 8th! Yeah…wth? Almost a month. You can always get your refill of American Horror Story on Netflix, OnDemand or the FX website.
See you in 3 weeks!