I have always known that something was “OFF” with me since I was younger, I started to realize it more from my teenage years. I would get bored SO EASILY. In a split second my attention turned to something else. I would be SO impulsive that I wanted XYZ and then a few days later I couldn’t stand XYZ. I figured it was me being a hormonal teenager. Well, that didn’t change. Growing up as an adult I was still acting impulsively, bored out of my mind, couldn’t keep a job and relationships, I didn’t want any. I was content with f**k buddies. *shrugs*
Something was OFF, but I couldn’t place my finger on it. I eventually went to a therapist, not about my attention issues, but I unfortunately lost a baby last year and it was not kind to me, mentally. As I’m spewing forth any and everything to my therapist, I would switch topics like someone changing the remote. There were plenty of times when she would tell me, “hold on, what are you talking about?” Then I would go back and tell her, not even aware that I didn’t say it. The whole entire time I’m switching positions, fiddling with my fingers, looking everywhere, crossing/uncrossing legs, jingling change in my pocket, etc. I could NOT keep still. SMH.
After our initial meeting, she told me that she believed I have ADHD and that she suggested I see a psychiatrist, to corroborate her findings. Sure enough the psychiatrist said how have I been operating like this for decades without any help. She asked me how long have I kept a job, relationship, friendship, etc. as I’m sharing this info, she just shakes her head and said to not worry, I’m here to help you.
And help…She did.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a problem of not being able to focus, being overactive, not being able to control behavior, or a combination of these. As Professor B Love wrote in his “I am ADD” post
Attention Deficit Disorder is described as
“Any range of behavioral disorders occuring primarily in children, including such symptoms as poor concentration, hyperactivity and impulsivity”, different peoples struggles manifests itself in different ways. Some are cursed with an inability to sit still long enough to have a conversation.
That is me. I really do struggle to have a conversation with people. If I’m on the phone with someone I am fidgeting, walking, getting water, sitting down, standing up, looking outside. I’m not STILL. I can’t sit down in one place for a long period of time. When I say long period of time, I mean 5-10 minutes TOPS. That’s not a long period of time for YOU, but for someone like me…it unfortunately is.
They say that there are 15 signs of adult ADHD I will list them and highlight the signs that I have.
1. You’re Restless
2. You Have a Child With ADHD
3. You Have Relationship Trouble
4. You Smoke
5.You Had Academic Problems as a Child
6. You’re a Champion Procrastinator
7. You’re a Thrill Seeker
8.You Lose Things All the Time
9. You Have Trouble on the Job
10. You Have a Quick Temper
11. You Have Problems Completing Tasks
12. You’re Impulsive
13. You Can’t Relax
14. You’re Easily Distracted
15. You’re Disorganized
I am on medication to help with my ADHD, it doesn’t go away, it will NEVER go away, but I am managing to control my symptoms.
My name is Dreamy and I have ADHD.