The Happiness Theory
Disclaimer: What you’re about to read is a product of MY observations….I have shared said observations with many individuals in various levels of their lives, and while many we’re apprehensive, in retrospect they found this theory to hold water for situations in their lives. You may or may not agree with this theory but ask the next person and they might; because as in life, the results for our thoughts, feelings and actions may vary….thank you – Jordan aka @_Physicism
Happiness depends on ourselves – Aristotle
We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. – Anne Frank
I hope you all read the disclaimer…because I’m certain that this article will irritate you either with its validity, or your disagreement of it. I think we can all agree that no one in the history of history has ever said they don’t desire happiness; I’m also certain that happiness is about as fixed in place and solid as a bowl of soggy cereal. But once again I will delve into what this means for those still trapped inside their mental prison cells.
Let us begin again with the basic definition of things (I do this to give you a starting point..get used to it.) The clinical definition of “happiness” is a “mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” While this definition sounds competent, it actually is not. Happiness is something you cannot define out of a dictionary, same as love, Heaven or Hell. Happiness to someone like me is an infinite, timeless existence that like perception is not a tangible circumstance. It is kind of like a product of our imaginations because we can change its shape, scope, and intensity anytime we want. Think of every time you were happy, then think of when it went away….then think of when it came back in a different mental container. So I challenge you all, how can you nail down “happiness” when you spend your life changing its shape, scope, and intensity?
I believe in the containment of happiness…when you contain something you essentially have cordoned it off to keep it in place. Consider your physical body the container…but remember there are holes in this container (…cue laughter now…). I also equate this happiness containment to filling up a balloon with holes in it; just give that some thought for a minute. I also know that there are some tangible forms of (what we perceive as) happiness, like (money, power, $200 Jordans…40” Peruvian weave blah blah). With all that said, let’s make things a little interesting now.
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
― Bette Midler
“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.”
― Charlotte Brontë
The last two quotes you saw are the premise to my theory of happiness; again, there is a slightly negative connotation to it but you’ll understand. To delve right into it, this is how it works:
Friends, family, coworkers, loved ones…the people you share your interpretation of with, throughout whatever the circumstances may be…have an internal threshold to this happiness…This threshold is ONLY to where it exceeds THEIR happiness. Once that threshold is broken these individuals will systematically hit a ceiling with their reciprocation and begin to gradually minimize.
Before you dismiss this thought, ask yourself how many friends you have had in your life that were there for you when your circumstances changed to promote bliss for you and they we’re ecstatic for you…then it just stopped. What you are reading is not piggybacking off the “Hater” article previously posted on Vixen Varsity, but it adds a pattern to why this is happening; I have my thoughts on the whole principle of “hating” but that’s not why we’re here.
As individuals we compartmentalize our negative feelings and only give out to others what we want to…except for the emotion “happiness” which we go on and on about when we feel it. We shout to the rafters, fly high on cloud nine this and that…not realizing that others may not be on that same plane as us. This is not a male/female argument although we do express happiness in different ways. However, I challenge you to look back at your life and ask yourself how many times did you tell someone close something just for them to be happy on the surface…not realizing you do not see what’s stirring underneath their exterior?
Recall when you told your best friend you found a mate you’re smitten over, just for them to systematically change over time while you just improved. Remember when you got that promotion and you told someone in such an excited way, and they were happy for you…thennn. I’m not saying that people are not genuinely happy for others; however we do not want to admit that there is a limit to it. This limit is when it is one iota over their mental threshold. It just manifests itself in different ways.
With all of this said, my simple suggestion is to consider your projection of joy when dealing with others. Sometimes we get so excited we forget that some of us are incapable of achieving what we have at that moment. The propensity of the human brain to share in joy isn’t anything out of the ordinary. But we now live in a selfish society…and people will do what they can to achieve happiness…especially when we inadvertently dangle it over their heads…be mindful everyone.