Therapeutic Tuesday: The Perils & Pleasures of Change

The Perils & Pleasures of Change

First the quotes that will drive this opinionated article….

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
― Albert Einstein

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
― Leo Tolstoy

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli

Next I want you guys to know that I myself understand the power of change; this is why I sometimes tweet/ramble the way I do and not the way I may be expected to…with that said let’s take a walk…

First off, I am an advocate of change….lifestyles, eating habits, you name it, and there is always room for an adjustment. Coming from personal experience I can assure you that while change is difficult, depending on your situation it may become your only option. Personally I do not like to be backed into a corner and forced to do things due to my “control of self” issues, but allow me to try to contrast my view between good and bad “changes.” Hopefully this article can do what all of my articles are designed to do, open your eyes. NOW, let’s talk about the negative connotation that sometimes is associated with change of self; this will probably be all over the place but I hope you feel the opinion.

Negative View on Change

I have had several conversations offline with many individuals who view change is the ultimate of negative circumstances. Now I’m no psychoanalyst, but common sense tells me that fear is the driving force behind refusal to change ones ways. It is amazing watching someone explain how “real of a nigga/bitch” they are and how they will never change; that is until you throw them some scenarios. You ever encounter one of these frightened people and tell them they look foolish at 30 running around screaming how they won’t change? To add to this, how screwed up are we to applaud this behavior?

So I impromptu counsel a good friend of mine who is a classic self-destructive case; for all intents and purposes let’s just leave their name and gender out of it. I have been working with them for a long time to abandon some of their ways…not under a veil of criticism, but because I can see them losing self and it hurts. They tell me they don’t think they need to…..but not realizing their children are suffering BECAUSE (and this is the kicker) BECAUSE “this is how life is” ….I almost puked on the spot. They fought me to better themselves; the irony is their actions got their child taken away…THAT ladies and gentlemen is an example of rock-bottom at its finest. This example reinforces my thoughts on a classification I’ve personally been a victim of in my own life called “change by force.” Nothing scarier than having to “better” yourself per the rock-bottom initiative I assure you.

Pay attention to someone’s facial expression who exhibits self-destructive behaviors when they are confronted about changing their way. The more factual information you pour onto them, the more hostile they get…..until you throw your hands up and walk away and they dive deeper; typical addictive behavior no? I believe that people need to hit rock-bottom and literally break through to China like on those old cartoons before they can believe that change is needed. If they exhibit a negative response to your guidance, it’s totally natural. But administering “help” is not a finite circumstance; after a while this “help” becomes counterproductive to YOU…then YOU need to make changes….see how that goes?

Positive View on Change

I enjoy talking about this side of change because I have the pleasure of speaking on more successes in this area than failures per my involvement with individuals wanting to change before there FORCED to. The positive side of change takes place when there is an innate need to evolve. Don’t think of evolution as sprouting wings or X-Men mutant abilities. Evolution (for the sake of this article) can also be the gene-spark that tells you what you are doing now is not adequate enough for where/what you want to be. We should celebrate wanting to alter our lives, and outside the box thinking etc etc. We should always desire to do and be more, and that starts by looking inside ourselves first, THEN our environment. I also believe that hot button change topics like increasing your bank account also come when you dedicate yourself to changing your view on yourself (always start here), then what’s around you. If you doubt this..remember this personal favorite quote of mine from Einstein:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

I am an advocate for change, even for the most resistant of individuals. Change is not and will ever be easy. It takes a physical, mental, emotional, and sometimes financial toll on us to become better. Speaking from personal experience, I was homeless for a period of time, I was also addicted to opiate narcotics which was a simple circumstance because I’m sickle cell anemic; very easy transition from pills to the needle. I made changes because I HAD too; I did not have the luxury of changing positively but I am beyond grateful for how life has worked out for me. I guess my parting words are this…..

If you know you need to change your ways to improve your sense of self – to improve your worth as a person – this means you still have control. Do not fall into an abyss by which you need the assistance of another under a negative connotation to pull you out. Negative circumstances in regard to change take away your creative control over the style by which you’d want to change. It’s a simple footnote to remember within a complex circumstance of events that will shape how you view your life once you WILLINGLY make these sacrifices to be better.

I’ll see you guys later….become better people before you’re forced to become better people…which would not make you much of a better person at all…. (Smiley face)

– Jordan

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